| Friday, March 6th, 2009 |
| 3:26 pm |
Blah
Ever had one of those days where you would like nothing more than to crawl back into your mother's womb and just start life all over again? That is what I feel like doing right now. Life stinks sometimes. |
| Thursday, December 25th, 2008 |
| 4:57 pm |
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| Monday, September 1st, 2008 |
| 1:13 am |
Late night post
....It is 1:15 am and I can't sleep. ....I feel alone right now. ....I feel unloved. ....I feel like I am losing control of things. ....I am so confused. ....I am so scared. ....I don't even know what to do. .... I just need some help and I wish someone could come whisk me away and make things better. |
| Saturday, August 23rd, 2008 |
| 1:25 am |
Scattered words and empty thoughts Seem to pour from my heart I've never felt so torn before Seems I don't know where to start But its now that I feel your grace fall like rain From every fingertip washing away my pain I still believe in your faithfulness I still believe in your truth I still believe in your holy word Even when I don't see, I still believe Though the questions still fog up my mind With promises I still seem to bear Even when answers slowly unwind It's my heart I see you prepare But its now, that I feel, your grace fall like rain From every fingertip washing away my pain I still believe in your faithfulness I still believe in your truth I still believe in your holy word Even when I don't see, I still believe Well the only place I can go is into your arms Where I throw to you my feeble prayers well in brokenness I can see that this was your will for me Help me to know that you are near I still believe in your faithfulness I still believe in your truth I still believe in your holy word Even when I don't see, I still believe |
| Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008 |
| 2:46 pm |
Golden Girls
I am sad to report that America lost yet another great comedian this morning. :( Golden Girl Estelle Getty passed away early this morning. She was truly a great comedian and friend. Thanks for being a friend Estelle! |
| Thursday, July 10th, 2008 |
| 9:34 am |
.....
I am having a nervous breakdown. Why? -Work is overwhelming. Been hard to keep up. -Lost someone I love who doesn't believe in me anymore. -Health is going downhill. Have lost close to 10 pounds within a couple of weeks. -Not eating or sleeping well. -Racked with guilt. -I feel so alone. -No one knows or understands how I feel. |
| Thursday, May 29th, 2008 |
| 9:21 pm |
Harvey Korman
One of my favorite actors of all time has passed away today. Harvey Korman. I grew up watching him on the Carol Burnett Show. He was brilliant when paid with Carol Burnett and especially Tin Conway. May Harvey RIP up in heaven and I know that everytime we hear thunder in the skies we all know Harvey Korman probably had something to do with it..:) |
| Tuesday, April 8th, 2008 |
| 12:09 am |
The 2008 NCAA National Champions are....
The Kansas Jayhawks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOO HOO! Will and I watched the game tonight and it was a great game! The heartland has waited 20 years to have the championship come home. And tonight we got our Rock Chalk Championship! I am sure the University of Kansas campus is going crazy about now..:) |
| Friday, March 14th, 2008 |
| 11:46 am |
I'm alive
I know I haven't posted in here in a long time. Sometimes I don't have much to say or don't have anything to say at all. But I do want to ask everyone who do reads my journal that if I post on a more consistant basis will people still read and post comments? If so, then I will do a better job of keeping this journal updated as I don't plan to be spending much time online chatting once it warms up. I am just getting tired of spending a lot of time online and when I am not online I can at least keep everyone updated as to what is happening in my world. Anyway, have a good day and talk to ya'll later I hope! |
| Tuesday, January 1st, 2008 |
| 12:33 am |
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year everyone! :) May it be a blessed and safe one for you all! :) |
| Thursday, November 22nd, 2007 |
| 2:37 pm |
Thanksgiving
I just wanted to wish everyone a very happy and blessed Thanksgiving. I know I have a lot to be thankful for this year. But right now the only bright spot in my day today is Will just standing by me after what happened last night. Thanks love. Take care everybody. |
| Monday, November 5th, 2007 |
| 7:34 pm |
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| Monday, May 21st, 2007 |
| 11:54 am |
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| Tuesday, November 7th, 2006 |
| 11:17 pm |
I am back
Ok, I am much better now. Well I mean in regards to the previous post that I had made which was on Sunday night. For those of you that read my journal, please know that when I made that post it was just out of anger and frustration. I just needed somewhere safe to vent and I figured by posting in my journal it was safer way of doing it because I wouldn't be inclined to throw anything. When I got on a rant like that like I said before it was out of anger and frustration so don't take anything that I said seriously because I wasn't in the right frame of mind when I was typing it out. I am one of those people who don't really get angry. I don't like getting like that and losing my temper like I did, which is a rare thing with me. But I was just keeping so much bottled up inside and I just couldn't take it anymore and something just snapped inside and I lost it. However, though after taking the past couple of days to just relax and recoup I am feeling better. I just needed some time to calm down and to chill out. I know no matter how crazy things get, I know things will turn out fine. Knowing that I have some activities to look forward to has helped keep my mind off of things and gives me something to look forward too. Thanks to all who left comments in my previous post. It really meant a lot. Thanks. :) Take care all. |
| Sunday, November 5th, 2006 |
| 9:55 pm |
Goodbye
My mother raised me with a good heart. I like to help people out when I can. But tonight I decided not to do it anymore. At least not while I am still living here in Jersey. I have helped out so many people since I have been here and I have gotten screwed over in someway. Not once but twice. I am tired of being given excuses, I am tired of people letting me down, I am tired of people just coming around for special occasions, and I am tired of people who people who like to think they know it all and just lecture me on stuff that I already know about. Well guess what people I am not an idiot and don't be telling me crap that I already know. And I am also tired of people not taking responisbilites for their own actions and then I am the one that gets screwed over. Well guess what people I have lost it tonight and I reached my breaking point. No more of me just letting things fly. I am genuinely angry. I have kept my temper in tact, I let things go but not anymore. Even the most good natured person has a breaking point and guess what I have reached mine. And I don't want to hear people telling me to relax or calm down because I have every right to be angry. There are only 3 people I can really count on out here. At least those people have never let me down or fed me some sorry lame excuse right after another. I know my birthday is later this month and to be quite honest I am not sure if I want to get get together with anyone. At this point, unless people have a good reason as to why they want me to stay in their life, please just leave me alone. |
| Tuesday, June 13th, 2006 |
| 12:01 pm |
Rant and pissed off.
This a rare post but I need to vent somewhere. I am not supposed to be posting at work but I don't care right now.I am fuming. Ok not as bad as earlier but I still am. I’m here at work and people think I am piddling around for 8 hours doing nothing and that just pissed me the hell off. Not to mention being called a liar. They didn’t come right out and say it but I am no idiot. I can read between the lines here. Don’t come moaning and groaning over stuff that I don’t have control over. If a nurse loses some visits on his Ipaq don’t come crying to me about after I have done all I have can to fix the issue. And don’t you dare even come to me and bitch me out in front of other people. Especially when they are within ear shot. It is embarrassing and infuriates me to know end. I am a calm person and it takes a lot to really piss me of and infuriate me. But this whole thing just did. I am supposed to go to the racetrack tomorrow night with my workplace but I am not sure if I want to go now. The more I think about it the more I have other things that need to be done. I am glad I am in my office alone because if someone comes bitching at me again my hand will go through their face. |
| Friday, March 3rd, 2006 |
| 2:20 pm |
I found this kind of funny...
I am not sure how many of you are baseball fans but I found this pretty amusing. The following is in relation to the World Baseball Classic. A game between Japan and China. I found this in an article. "Still looking for the offensive explosion it lacked through its World Baseball Classic exhibition run, Japan finally found some power, smacking three home runs in its 18-2 win over China, which ended because of mercy rule after eight innings Friday at the Tokyo Dome." This is the first time I have ever seen the mercy rule injected in a baseball game...:) Like I said before I found that amusing. |
| Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006 |
| 3:58 pm |
Enough
This past weekend I had a lot of fun even though some drama happened. But I really don't want to get into it as I am sure anyone who reads Will's or Pam's journal have already read what happened so there is no need for me to repeat it. However, anyone(and I am sure people know who they are) need to stop taking cheap shots at Will. It just needs to stop. Because when you are taking cheap shots at Will you are taking cheap shots at me too and I just don't tolerate it. It isn't fair to him because he doesn't deserve it. And I don't deserve it either because it hurts me to know when when people do that to him. It's not right and friends just don't do that. No one is perfect so whatever prompted the cheap shots need to stop please. Whatever happened is in the past and it needs to stay there. We all learn from our mistakes in some way or another. Right now with the way things have been going lately it just isn't good. The two job interviews I went on turned out to be a major waste of time. I was lied too and that just isn't right. I have also been putting up with a lot of other garbage from people and frankly I am tired of it. There is a reason why I don't have a lot of friends out here. And I really don't feel like getting into it. The friends I do have I really don't get to see them that much unless it is on a special occasion or something. And then there are some people I know who are just negative all the time and I get tired of being around that. And then there are some friends I have that they think they know it all and try to analyze the situation instead of just listening to what I have to say. And frankly I am just tired of it. I told Will last night I am ready to go home. I miss my family and my friends. But I also know if I go back to visit there is a chance that I might not come back at all. Not with the way I have been feeling lately. I know things will be alright and things will work out. But just right now for the past year and a half or so I have busted my hump going to school, working all the time, and missing out on things I wanted to do. I just got tired of not having a life. And all I really want now is just a decent job that I can like, that pays well and enables me to live comfortably. I just want to be able to settle somewhere and be happy and just call it home. Is that too much to ask for? I don't think so. |
| Tuesday, February 14th, 2006 |
| 8:50 pm |
Happy Valentine's Day!
Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Can't believe it has gotten here so quick. Time sure flies by fast. Sure glad this snow we got is starting to melt. I know it will take awhile but I will be glad when it is gone because right now it is a pain in the rear to park my car with all the snow in the way. But I am glad spring is on the way. I am sooo tired of the cold weather. I will be happy when it warms up and I can do things outside again. I am thinking about playing ball this year. It has been a few years since I have played. So, I might play. I don't know yet. I want to see if I can get my throwing shoulder back in good shape. I hurt it a few years ago when we were in a bowling league and I need to get it back into shape if I expect to throw a ball around. But I think going to the gym will help with that. Lots of good machines there to work with. Just need to get my butt on a regular schedule. Need to work on that when I get back from the con. Let's see what else is going on. I have a couple of job interviews lined up. Both are over in NYC. I have one lined up for tomorrow night with Premirica. They are having an open house so I am looking forward to talking with them and seeing what they have to offer. And then next Tuesday afternoon I have an interview with New York Life for a customer service position over there. So we shall see what happens. I am looking forward to it. I was able to nab both of these interviews when I went to a job fair over in NYC a couple of weeks ago. It was sure nice to have something profitable happen for once at a job fair. So I am really praying one of these jobs works out. It would be soooooooooo cool for that to happen. So keep your fingers crossed and keep me in your prayers cause I sure do need them. Not much else is happening. Been pretty quite for the most part. Not much else to report. |
| Monday, February 13th, 2006 |
| 11:55 pm |
Poll
I know I don't update my journal very much. I really haven't been one to really write in these things. Usually if something is going on I either usually tell people verbally or either over IM when I am online. Or sometimes, I don't say much at all to people about what is going on. I sometimes just keep it to myself. So with that said, for those of you who do read my journal, if I make regular posts in here would you read them and comment on them? I like the comments because it lets me know people are actually reading it and care. So, it is up to you all. Let me know what you think. |
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